The Wacky World of Belief
from the
1999 Nihilism Expo

If you don't do everything I tell you in the bible,
you will suffer unspeakable pain for ever.
I'm only doing this because I love you.

Thank you, Maria Sanchez, for not having an abortion.
God's plan for you involves your having more children
than you can feed.

Buford Furrow, I want to thank you
for shooting those Jewish kids.
They had it coming.

Osama Bin Laden, I want to thank you
for shooting those infidel kids.
Allah told me they had it coming.

Mr. Hitler, thanks for killing 6 million
of God's chosen people. That made them
so sympathetic that no one criticizes them
for what they do to the Palestinians.

We're your friends,
and we're here to help you.

I am the Lord, thy God.
Thou shall have no Gods before me.

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