Vote Nihilism '94

After his 1988 Nihilist campaign for President, Elisha Shapiro decided that LA County Sheriff was the office which best suited his talents and temperment. That is why, in 1994 he decided to challenge incumbant Sheriff, Sherman Block.

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    1994 Nihilism Campaign Calendar
    January 1994

    Campaign Headquarters Gala Opening
    February 12, 1994
    Zero One Gallery, Los Angeles

    Files Official Papers
    with the county Registrar of Voters
    May 13, 1994

    Long Beach Gay Pride Parade
    May 22, 1994

    Nihilists' Corner Election Special
    Show number 18
    June 1994

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    What does Elisha Shapiro say about running for LA County Sheriff?


    Sherman Block has been working for the past thirty years to bring order to Los Angeles...I've been working during that time to bring disorder. I'll leave it to the voters to decide who's done a better job.


    The Sheriff's department will certainly be different under my leadership. Now the place is crawling with fundamentalist Christians and white supremacists. I'm going to change that. When I take over, the place will be crawling with women and homosexuals. I think we'll all feel a lot safer with less testosterone on the force.


    Who is the genius who decided to raise the Sheriff's salary by 60% since the last election? You would think $120,000 a year is a good wage. That's what Block was paid in 1990. Now it's $192,000. Has the Sheriff done that good a job? I don't think so. Maybe some of that money could be used to keep a library open.


    There is more money stolen everyday in Beverly Hills than there is in Watts. There are more people putting cocaine up their noses in Westwood than there are in Inglewood. There are more crimes committed in Century City than in South Central. So why does the Sheriff go crazy ever time he sees a young black man? If it's arresting criminals Sherman Block is after, I'd like to see him use that battering ram on the boardroom doors. I know I'd sleep a lot better.


    It costs $35,000 a year to keep a person in jail. It only costs $25,000 to send a person to a top university. In this day of budget cutting, we could save $10,000 per prisoner by sending them to Harvard.


    The diamond lanes on the freeways are not reducing traffic. When I'm Sheriff, I'll convert them to "High-Speed-Chase" lanes.


    How tough do you have to be to beat on some poor and powerless person? You never hear about deputies beating up some insurance executive, tv executive or talk show host. Well, when I'm sheriff, that's going to change.


    Sherman Block has rejected the idea of a citizens' review board to keep watch on the force. When I'm Sheriff, I'll start the review board by appointing Damion Williams and Reginald Denny. A citizens' review board should include people who deal with the department.


    There is a rule which requires a candidate for sheriff to be a sworn peace officer in order to get on the ballot. If there ever was a rule designed to keep anyone from changing the Sheriff's department, this is it. I know a lot of people don't like Block and the way he runs the Sheriff's department. They may be able to keep me off the ballot, but they can't keep you from writing in my name on your ballot in June and November. This is the best way of sending the message that you don't like how things are run. It's the best way to change the way things have been run for more than thirty years.


    But most important, someone has got to do something about the sheriff's deputies' uniforms. Talk about could any of them have any pride in their job when they're forced to dress in those shapeless, dun-colored, polyester outfits? I'd be too ashamed to leave the house.


    Everyone always asks if I won, and how many votes I received. Being a write-in candidate, I thought I might not beat Sherman Block, but I thought I might get one or two thousand votes. The Registrar of Voters doesn't count write-in vote for candidates who don't file all the offical papers, and this time I did. So a month after the election, I got a letter from the Registar. It informed me I received 241 votes. Even though I was quite happy with how the rest of the campaign turned out, I was a little disappointed with the vote. However, when I read the rest of the letter from the Registar, I was able to see how many votes all the other write-in candidates got. Of all the candidates for all offices, I was the only one who received more than 11 votes in LA County. All of a sudden 241 votes seemed pretty good.

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